Dear DMC,

For the Groaners from Grover page?

Steve Reszetriak

— — —

Dear Steve,

Yes, these belong on Groaners from Grover. Perhaps the full name of the page should be Groaners from Grover and Friends.


Puns for Higher IQs

  • If you jump off the bridge in Paris, you are in Seine
  • A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking
  • Dijon vu – the same mustard as before
  • Practice safe eating – always use condiments
  • Shotgun wedding – it’s a case of wife or death
  • A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes
  • Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play
  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  • Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion
  • Reading while sunbathing makes you well red
  • When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I
  • A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired
  • What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away)
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
  • In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes
  • She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off
  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
  • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
  • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered
  • You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it
  • Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under
  • Every calendar’s days are numbered
  • A lot of money is tainted –  Taint yours and taint mine
  • A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat
  • He had a photographic memory that was never developed
  • A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large
  • Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis
  • Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done.