Xmas squirrles and crackers

It’s time to squirrel away our Christmas Crackers. Before we close the lid, if you have any to add, please email them to contactus@dullmensclub.com.

Dec Xmas crackers


Where to you go to weigh a whale?

To a whale weigh station

From  Steve Morton

What’s brown and sticky?
A stick

From Steve Reszetniak

Xmas crackers ducks

Xmas cracker Steve 1

Xmas cracker Steve 2

Xmas cracker Steve 3

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can Ho Ho Ho

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

It soots him

What’s Santa’s favorite cereal?


Where does Santa stay when he travels?

At the Ho Ho Hotel

Why would you remove your door bell?

To win the No Bell Prize

What did the snowman say to the other snowman who was standing next to him?

I smell carrots

What do you give a railway station master for Christmas?

Platform shoes

How does the Pacific Ocean greet the Atlantic Ocean?

It waves

Dec 2 Crackers


Christmas Crackers — a British Tradition

For readers not familiar with the tradition of Christmas crackers, here’s some background.

Christmas crackers are brightly colored paper tubes that are placed on each plate at Christmas parties.

christmas cracker on plate
The tubes, when pulled apart from each end, break open with an cracking exploding sound.
A paper slip with a joke and a paper crown fall out. 
Christmas crackers were invented by Thomas Smith in 1846 when he was visiting Paris. He came across bonbons. Smith began importing them to England. They sold well at Christmas but not other times of the year. 
In the 1850s, Smith started putting mottos in the bonbons. As bonbons were often bought by men to give to women, many of the mottos turned out to be love poems.

In 1860, Smith added bangers — two strips of chemically impregnated paper that make a cracking sound when pulled apart.

Over time, jokes replaced the love poems.

More information can be found here: http://resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/xmas/crackers.html