new years resolutions list

Every New Year’s Day the Dear Abby column presents New Year’s Resolutions, which are attributed to Twelve-Step Programs.

Although the DMC is only a Two-Step Program — (1) we admit we are dull; (2) we’re keeping it that way — we think these resolutions make sense.

We have adapted them for us — twelve goals to aim for each day:

•   Today I will try to avoid excitement.

•   Today I will try to live slowly, methodically, workmanlike.

•   Today I will try to enjoy simple, mundane, ordinary things.

•  Today I will try to avoid using exclamanion points.

•   Today I will have a list for the day that will allow me to avoid hurry and indecision.

•   Today I will remember what Abe Lincoln said: “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

•   Today I will try to adjust myself to what is — will not try to adjust everything to my own desires.

•   Today I will take my luck as it come and fit myself to it.

•   Today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will not be a mental loafer. I will study — read something that requires effort, thought and concentration — to learn something useful.

•   Today I will try to be agreeable, to look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously.

•   Today I will try not to criticize — to not find fault with anything.

•   Today I will not try to improve or control anyone except myself.

•   Today I will try to live only in today. I will realize that I can do something for twelve hours that would frighten me if I thought I had to keep it up forever.