Here are a few topics for Dull Men’s Club meetings or for any other time dull men meet up to do some pondering:
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
- Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
- Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Why don’t we ever hear father-in-law jokes?
- Why were we able to put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Once you’re in heaven, do you then wear the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
- What disease did cured ham actually have?
- Why is it that people say they ‘”slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
- Why are you “on” a movie, but you’re “on” TV?
- Why do you ride “on” a plane but “in” a car?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
- Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp that no one wants to eat?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs.
- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
- Why do we press harder on a remote control when the battery indicator shows the battery is dead?
- Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough money to pay the fee?
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are billions of stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Why do they use sterilized needlesfor death by lethal injection?
- Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
- Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
- Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
- Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
- Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
- Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
- How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
- Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
- In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
- The statistics on sanity show that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. if they’re okay, then it’s you.
