Here is a copy of my answers to your DMC qualification test. I didn’t have enough “yes” answers but perhaps you will consider me anyway.

Are you (or someone you know) a Dull Man?

1. What are the three most exciting things you have ever done? It’s okay if you list fewer than three. Did you list three or fewer things?

They must not have been that exciting since I said, “Is that all there is?” Yes.

2. What are the three dullest things you have done? You can list more than three. Did you list three or more things?

Photograph the backs of old picture frames. Wait in line for my number to be called at the DMV. Slowly die while watching a bunch of kids perform in a dance recital. Yes.

3. Have you ever had an urge? Were you able to get over it?

As a confirmed procrastinator, I have urges all the time but yes, I find it easy to get over them.

4. When you say hello to someone you’ve met before, do they reply ‘I don’t remember meeting you’, and you reply, ‘That’s okay, I wouldn’t remember meeting me either’.

Since I’m a confirmed hermit, I rarely meet anyone I’ve met before. I even go out of my way to avoid meeting my neighbors in the hall.

5. List the dull places you have visited. Did you list one or more?

I tend to avoid going anywhere but if I do, its always somewhere devoid of people.

6. Do you like to watch airport luggage carousels?

Airports are way too dangerous for someone like me….too many people to avoid and my nervous, furtive looks might cause suspicion among the TSA goon squads.

7. List the dull books you have read. Did you list more than one book?

My trash is full of them but since they were so dull, I can’t recall the titles.

8. Is gray one of your favorite colors?

Yes… soothing.

9. Do you like Vegemite?

What the hell is vegemite?

10. Do you like airplane food?

I haven’t flown in years and have thankfully blotted out the memory of food or anything else connected with flying.

11. Do you like English food?

Never been to England so cannot say.

12. Do you like macaroni?

Yes, on occasion when I get tired of soup.

13. Do you think women should not be allowed in the club?

Why not, as long as they don’t try to reform me.

14. Does your wife (or girl friend(s)) think you are dull?

No doubt about that.

15. Can you list two dull persons to sponsor you?

Like I said, I’m a hermit so know no one who can vouch for me.

Scoring: you’re a Dull Man if you answered “yes” to 12 or more of the test’s questions.